Mix Up the Monotony

photo credits:blindgossip.com

Every relationship is somehow doomed to hit a slump at one point or another. It’s not always a given that the first few months of perfection are going to stretch on for the entire duration of the time you spend together. Being stuck in a rut is something my boyfriend and I constantly have to fight, since balancing work or school and being in a relationship at the same time is an art that one learns over time, and no how-to guide is going to help you find your groove. Usually, it’s a matter of complacency, where because you already have each other, or have been together for so long, there doesn’t seem to be any point anymore in breaking the routine of coming over to your place, or his, and curling up for a movie on a Friday night. Here are three tips to mix up the monotony:

Don’t forget dates. I’m not just talking about keeping anniversaries sacred, or doing the cliché Valentine’s combo of dinner and a movie. It’s important to remember just how cathartic it is to go out on a date because there’s some value in getting dressed for a nice night out with each other. When your boss becomes a dictator or school work is all you’re breathing, having some time to yourselves becomes the oasis you’re both dying for. Go have a table reserved at that restaurant that takes months for an opening. Dress up in your mother’s best jewellery and catch the next run of Cats on Broadway. Try the pie in the next state because they say it’s the best. You can even decide to book a ticket to Korea together and just tour the cities for a few days. Sometimes, a change of scene and shedding your pyjama bottoms is all you need to keep things fresh and fun.

Surprise, surprise! This is another thing that I have tried and tested to ensure that you both don’t start to stray. We start to get so used to each other that everything becomes predictable. You don’t want predictable all the time. Buy him that copy of Diablo 3 that he’s been coveting. Write each other poetry. Cook up an elaborate Amazing Race type experience where he has to follow clues to ultimately find you waiting for him at the end of a bridge holding a sign that says “I love you”. When you break the routine, you surpass each other’s expectations.

Miss each other. There are couples I know that spend so much time together that they almost can’t seem to function without the other. While this may be cute at first, it becomes destructive and boy, when it happens to you, you’ll realize what they meant when they said “familiarity breeds contempt.” Go out with your own friends, and try not to be so clingy or possessive when he goes out with his. Spending time apart means more stories to share with each other, and gives you a chance to take a breather from constantly worrying that your time is no longer your own when you have to account for his. You both have friends that you knew before you met each other. Remember not to neglect them, because chances are, they’re the ones who will be there if you guys, God forbid, break up (they’ll also be there if and when you two marry). Time apart can be healthy, too.

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